The Claim Jumper, the Intellectual Property Lawyer, and the Bootlegger

 

CLAIM JUMPER
Motherfucker!

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAWYER
What is it, Klondike Pete?

CLAIM JUMPER
That rum runner just jumped my claim!

BOOTLEGGER
What claim? Where? All I see is some fine White Lightening. Care for a taste, counselor?

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAWYER
Don't mind if I do...

CLAIM JUMPER
Now wait one second, you lily livered, no-good horse thief... You can't call that white lightening!

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAWYER
He's got a point. White lightening is far too general a term to call your own. Likewise, moonshine is a potentially actionable term.

BOOTLEGGER
Actionable, perhaps. Tasty--that's a fact.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAWYER
I appreciate a well-reasoned argument. Now let's see if we can't find a way to screw this hayseed out of his claim.

CLAIM JUMPER
What the?!

END

--PAUL HELTZEL