15 Second Theater Presents
Detective HAL JENKINS, 25-year veteran,
NYPD. JENKINS recently divorced his third wife and suffers from severe stomach ulcers.
FALCONE, hotshot rookie, NYPD. FALCONE is new to the precinct; inexperienced but eager. He speaks only in song titles from the first Ramones album.
Squad room, 15th Precinct, New York City Police Dept:
FALCONE is at his desk. JENKINS enters, pulling occasionally from a Pepto-Bismol bottle.
JENKINS: Did the lab come back with anything on that DOA?
FALCONE: I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement (2:37)
JENKINS: What's with you, kid? I asked you an hour ago to get those files! Forget it, we gotta go canvass the area on that deli shooting.
FALCONE: I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You (1:43)
JENKINS: You got a real smart mouth for a rookie,
Falcone. Do it yourself, then. I gotta interview this skel in interrogation.
FALCONE: Beat On The Brat (2:31)
JENKINS: Don't I wish. Not with IA sniffing around.
FALCONE: Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue (1.35)
FALCONE: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend (2.15)
JENKINS: Why you gotta be
bustin' my balls all the time? Wise up, kid. Look, I'm gonna roll this perp, then I want you to meet me back at the stakeout. You got it?
FALCONE: 53rd & 3rd (2.21)
JENKINS: Right. Now get outta here!