Vague (And Sometimes) Malapropistic
Warnings I Come Up With While Driving, For Use In An Auto Accident That
Suddenly Becomes Confrontational, Which All Have The Effect Of Saying,
"Lay Off With The Threatening Language."
Don't tangle with me, handsome, unless you're
prepared to punch (make clicking sound) my dance card.
You want to shimmy? (Throw jacket down) Ok,
then, let's shimmy!
I'll let the air out of you like a piņata
(Kiss back of hand), trash ass!
What the shit? Who died so that
you're--that's it! (Tear pocket off polo shirt).You're out of here!
Fine. (Light cigarette. Put out on finger
nail.) It's going to be like this...
You want the tiger beat? (Curl up into
fearsome, confident ball). You get the tiger beat!